1000 points to anyone who can diagram this sentence ... and live to tell the tale... because there are some severe tense problems here.

and technically his dick is on his person at all times, so who's glad now?

I think what Plies is trying to say here is that if it were possible for him to have sex with himself, the world would be happy because he would never reproduce.

@ plus 1: You win.

-Jack

"If I was on my dick, you all niggers will be glad."

'was/will' isn't really consistent tense-wise, but maybe it's deliberately ambiguous?

I'd be glad if he was on his own dick. That means he could go fuck himself!

Yo first off he speaks the truth.. niggas be hating when im all up on my dick but i know thats when i shine. i feel you plies you speak from the heart

on my dick = money problems/ broke in FLA slang

^ co-sign

Idk that he's always on his dick...but certainly always attached to it, and with that, this 'nigga' is glad for him. cuz that would kind of suck for him if they were separated.

The whole idea, is that its so Big that he can stand on it. And niggas are glad because its just good black humor to see someone standing on their own dick.

How does that slang come about?
on my dick = broke.

Sorry guys, I can't go to the movies with you tonight cause I'm on my dick.

Seana, if you reach into your pocket and there's no money in there, your hand would go straight on to your dick. Of course, I don't mean YOU (literally), because you're a girl. I guess you'd be "on your twat"? I dunno.