Sunday, September 20, 2009


"I eat your face like a lunchbox."
Drag-on, Trouble

Hey Drag-On, you don't EAT the lunchbox part.

Filed under: Biggest idiot ever / completely wrong

Saturday, September 19, 2009


"They call me Cocky Balboa."
- Twista, Wrist Say Rocky

Who does? No they don't.

And if they did this would suck.

Filed under: Didn't happen / Just lying

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


"My feet is up."
- Kanye West, Brand New

Not after Sunday night they isn't.

Filed under: Had to do this

Sunday, September 13, 2009


"Before I monkey shit on you niggas."
- Busta Rhymes, Monkey Shit by M.O.P.

Actually you probably will just regular shit... even though you probably won't even do that.

Filed under: Weirdest threat ever

Friday, September 11, 2009


"I love bitches, thug bitches, shy bitches, rough bitches. Don't matter, you're my bitches."
- Jay-Z, Who You Wit II

Uhhh... have standards.

Also, yeah... "bitches" rhymes with "bitches"... because it's the same word.

Filed under: Would fuck anything

Thursday, September 10, 2009


"Don't holler at me unless money is the topic."
- Nipsey Hussle, Hussle Is My Last Name

Friend: Hey what time is it?
Nipsey: What did we talk about?
Friend: Oh, that's right. Sorry. Umm... What time is it right now at the bank?
Nipsey: Ten after two.

Filed under: Alienating too many topics of conversations

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


"You're now surrounded by the world's most elegant niggas."
- M.O.P, World's Most Elegant N***a

Hey, let's play "What Word Definitely Doesn't Describe Someone That Wears A Reebok Headband and Gold Front Teeth".

I mean... elegant. He actually said "elegant".

Filed under: Gay-sounding

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


"We the BEST!"
- DJ Khaled, We Takin' Over

Not at grammar.

Filed under: Go back to school

Friday, September 4, 2009


"Get your toilet paper nigga, 'cause I'm fixin' to be shittin'."
- Bun B, Keep It 100

It's actually nobody's job but yours to take care of the whole toilet paper thing. If you're shitting, you get toilet paper ready for you. We don't need to involve anybody extra.

Filed under: Get your own toilet paper / unfair / too many people

Thursday, September 3, 2009


"You fit these shoes, nigga. Put 'em on and tap dance, faggot."
- Shabazz The Disciple, Hip Pop

Here's an example of a way to say something if you don't want someone to listen to you.

Filed under: Worst shoe salesman of all time


"I fuck the baddest bitches. I don't wanna talk about it."
- 50 Cent, I Don't Wanna Talk About It by G-Unit

When I heard this line I was driving. I literally took my hands off of the steering wheel, my eyes opened wider then they had for weeks, and my jaw dropped open.

"I fuck the baddest bitches. I don't want to talk about it." This is so defensive and insecure.

Oh... my... God.

Filed under: So obviously wants to talk about it

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


"It's a motherfuckin' shame how my earlobes hang."
Twista, Wrist Stay Rocky

It's a motherfuckin' shame when a kid drops his ice cream cone on the ground before he gets to lick it. How your earlobes hang? I'm not really following you. That Rubik's Cube necklace though? Now that's a shame.

Filed under: Just saying shit