Monday, November 30, 2009


"You can probably smell the smoke through your headphones."

- Slim Thug, I Run

Good guess, but... you can't.

Filed under: No

Posted by Chris Macho

Listen/Buy "I Run"

Friday, November 27, 2009


"My gun will shoot anybody's anus."

Noreaga, Happy Birthday

Oh, that's one of those heat-seeking asshole guns I've been hearing about I guess.  Oh, wait... no... you're just a fuckin' weirdo.  And stop blaming shooting people's anuses on your gun... because if your bullets are hitting anuses... it's like... your fault, Noreaga.

Filed under: Perverted homosexual sniper

Posted by Chris D'Elia

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


"I sit on the end at the movies and let my feet stick out. Any nigga with a problem get his teeth chipped out."

- Guilty Simpson, Strapped

Honestly, is there anything that's more plain dick than this? Someone is definitely going to trip and fall and spill their popcorn, they'll probably say something, then get their teeth knocked out.

Filed under: Plain rude

Posted by Chris Macho

Listen/Buy "Strapped"

Monday, November 23, 2009


"Jesus died at age 33. But what he didn't do is forget his niggas."

- Bumpy Knuckles, One Chance


Filed under: Going to Hell / blasphemy

Posted by Chris D'Elia

Thursday, November 19, 2009


"I got Spider-Man high."

- 50 Cent, Stretch

Oh, cool... actually wait that's not that cool because you're not The Green Goblin... or any character in a comic book for that matter... because no one in comic books actually exist... so you can't get them high.

See ya.

Filed under: s'delusional / lost his mind

Posted by Chris D'Elia

Listen/Buy "Stretch"


"I go by 'N' now -- just one syllable."

Nas - Can't Forget About You

Right, you shortened it to the easier, one-syllable "N" from the tongue-twister "Nas" ...which is also one syllable.

Filed Under: Not a name, just a letter

Posted by Chris Macho

Listen/Buy "Can't Forget About You"

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


"Got a letter from the government the other day. I opened it, read it... It said, 'We want hustlers'."
- Rick Ross, Southern Gangstas by Ludacris

Oh really? That's what the letter from the government said?

Filed under: Didn't happen

Friday, November 13, 2009


"Ghost ride the whip with your kid in the car-seat."
Roscoe Umali, Live It Up

Before I heard this line I thought simply 'ghost riding the whip' was the stupidest thing you could do. It has been dethroned by this.

Filed under: Worst Dad

Thursday, November 12, 2009


"Your daddy fucked your mamma and then fucked your sister, then climbed in your bed playin' with your shitter. Go 'head, take your belt off and hang yourself."
- 50 Cent, So Disrespectful

I mean... there is simply NOT a sentence out there that is more cold and heartless. But let's try...

1) Hey I'll eat your eyes and mouth while I think about how stupid you are.
2) I'm gonna go to your dad's funeral and fart real loud in your mom's face.
3) Your girl is like a piece of shit that I forget to flush down the toilet and then I also shit all over your house after that.

Close call... close call.

Filed under: So heartless and such a plain old dick

Monday, November 9, 2009


"We takin' everything you brung."
- Jay-Z, Dead Presidents II

Come on. It's brang.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


"Yayo like its mayo."
- Dolla, Who The Fuck Is That?

You put cocaine on your sandwiches? Or you keep it in the fridge in a jar? Wait, I got it. You have a lot of cocaine just like you have a lot of... mayonnaise? Or... this is nonsense.

Filed under: Lost his mind

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


"Everybody eat nails."
- Tech N9ne, Blacken The Sun

Principal: Soooooo... you DO know why I called you in, don't you?
Tech N9ne: ...Because I told all my students to eat nails?
Principal: Well... yeah. I mean... Johnny died.

Filed under: Should never be in charge of anything ever because people would for sure end up dying under his supervision

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


"I’m your friend, your father, and confidant, bitch."
-50 Cent, P.I.M.P.

Yeah, you kind of negated the whole sentence with the end there.

Filed Under: Don't confide in this man / Worst friend ever

Monday, November 2, 2009


"Get out my face, ho. Get out my face, ho. Get out my face, ho. Get out my face, ho. Get out my face, ho. Get out my face, ho. Get out my face, ho. Get out my face."
- Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, Yahhh!!!

Hands down, there is nothing more rude and immature than saying "Get out my face, ho" 8 times in an argument with someone.

Debate team captain: "Yeah well, we just don't want Soulja Boy on the team anymore because of ya know... whenever he starts losing the debate he results in that whole, "Get out my face, ho" thingy that he does. I'm sure you've heard...

Filed under: Worst debate team member ever/so disrespectful


"Now we're in my house. I took the pants off the wench. The fuckin' bitch had syphilis. I cracked her in the face with a wrench."
- Necro, STD

Soooooo THIS is the most overboard thing you can do if you find out a girl has a venereal disease.

Filed under: Way overboard/obviously going to jail really soon

Sunday, November 1, 2009


'Niggas say that they the shit when they barely just a potty."
- Mims, Move (If Ya Wanna)

Hey, since when is a potty even KIND OF like shit. I mean, you shit in a potty, but this analogy ranks up there with some of the worst ever.

Filed under: Worst analogy ever