Indefinite hiatus. This is the archive. Thank you for the fun.
"I'm strictly tryin' to cop those colossal-sized Picassos."
-Sheek Louch, It's All About the Benjamins by Puff Daddy
Only the huge ones huh? So we're not even getting out of bed for the smaller-sized Picassos? I mean, the bottom line is you're doing other things besides this.
Filed under: Would be bankrupt so fast / Would die because of not eating
Posted by Chris Macho
"Car smell like blue cheese."
Rick Ross, Mafia Music
"You KNOW I like to eat Cobb salads in this bitch."
Filed under: Not a good thing.
Posted by Chris Macho
"Who the only nigga in the club with the toolio?"
-Snoop Dogg, Go To Church by Ice Cube
Wait wait, I know this one. Is it you? I guess this would be easier to answer if I knew what a fucking "toolio" was.
Filed under: Vague
Posted by Chris Macho
"I'mma put some dick in your world."
-David Banner, Play
This is what a shitty bully pervert alien says when he gets to a new planet.
Filed under: Bully pervert alien
Posted by Chris Macho
"It goes one for the money, two for the show, three for the pussy..."
-Ice Cube, Go To Church
Um... THIS ISN'T HOW THE SAYING GOES.
Filed under: Bad with children
Posted by Chris Macho
"It's Mr. Need an Encore."
- Wale, Cyphr
Soooo thiiiis is the most insecure thing you can say. Also it's just fuckin' lonely and sad. Like he doesn't want the show to end because he needs people around and when he goes home he cries and shit. Also it's dorky.
Oh yeah also... "Mr. Need an Encore" is also a bad name. So is Wale. See ya.Filed Under: Stupid fucking name / so insecure
Posted by Chris D'Elia
"Motherfucker, I'm ill!"
- Jay-Z, A Billi
Worst patient ever.
Filed under: No doctors would stand for this type of abuse.
Posted by Chris D'Elia
"It's so hot up in the club that I ain't got no shoes on."
-Hurricane Chris, A Bay Bay
This would be the worst thermometer ever: The "HOT" reading is a pair of Nikes sitting next to a square leather club chair.
Ummm... put your fucking shoes back on, asshole.
Filed under: Worst thermometer ever / Worst guy to go out with
Posted by Chris Macho
"Look... you call it 'getting married', I call it 'acting selfish'."
-Short Dawg, Pass the Dutch by Young Money
"Yeah! Bros before hos! And another thing... Your fiance is a bitch!"
This is so the wrong time to have that heart-to-heart with your buddy about how he's getting married... in a song about smoking weed.
Filed under: Doesn't know how to do things
Posted by Chris Macho
"Yeah, can you please motherfuckin' rise?"
-Young Jeezy, Amazin'
Shouldn't be in charge of the PA system. Why even say please?
Filed under: So fired
Posted by Chris Macho
"My dick get hard. Watch it grow."
-Mystikal, I don't Give a Fuck by Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz
Yeah, that's what it does. This is the most regular thing you could ever rap about. Honestly, this is what my cousin would say if he was on a verse. Oh yeah, my cousin is eleven.
And oh yeah... No thanks.
Filed Under: Would get fired so hard as a sex ed teacher
Posted by Chris Macho
"Cookie Monster of the hood because I love to eat."
-Yo Gotti, Ridiculous by DJ Drama
Hey, Yo Gotti, Cookie Monster's thing isn't that he likes to eat, it's that he likes to eat cookies.
Filed Under: Just wrong / Do research
Posted by Chris Macho
"Houston, we have a motherfuckin' problem."
-Slim Thug, The Intro
You should probably let someone else handle the communications with NASA.
Filed Under: Not following protocol
Posted by Chris Macho
"Lemonade my town, said, 'Miami, I want yellow carpet'; woke up in the morning fuckin' bought a yellow Aston Martin."
-Gucci Mane, Lemonade
In case you're wondering, "What the fuck is this dude talking about?", this whole song is about how Gucci Mane has yellow everything. I just wanted to point out how much of an asshole you would look like if you pulled up somewhere in a yellow Aston Martin and stepped onto rolled-out yellow carpet — the carpet you requested.
Filed under: Needs variety
Posted by Chris Macho
