Wednesday, March 24, 2010


"I'm strictly tryin' to cop those colossal-sized Picassos."

-Sheek Louch, It's All About the Benjamins by Puff Daddy

Only the huge ones huh? So we're not even getting out of bed for the smaller-sized Picassos? I mean, the bottom line is you're doing other things besides this.

Filed under: Would be bankrupt so fast / Would die because of not eating

Posted by Chris Macho 



"Car smell like blue cheese."

Rick Ross, Mafia Music

"You KNOW I like to eat Cobb salads in this bitch."

Filed under: Not a good thing.

Posted by Chris Macho

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


"Who the only nigga in the club with the toolio?"

-Snoop Dogg, Go To Church by Ice Cube

Wait wait, I know this one. Is it you? I guess this would be easier to answer if I knew what a fucking "toolio" was.

Filed under: Vague

Posted by Chris Macho 

Monday, March 22, 2010


"I'mma put some dick in your world."

-David Banner, Play

This is what a shitty bully pervert alien says when he gets to a new planet.

Filed under: Bully pervert alien

Posted by Chris Macho


"It goes one for the money, two for the show, three for the pussy..."

-Ice Cube, Go To Church


Filed under: Bad with children

Posted by Chris Macho 

Listen or Buy "Go To Church"

Friday, March 19, 2010


"It's Mr. Need an Encore."

- Wale, Cyphr

Soooo thiiiis is the most insecure thing you can say.  Also it's just fuckin' lonely and sad.  Like he doesn't want the show to end because he needs people around and when he goes home he cries and shit. Also it's dorky.

Oh yeah also... "Mr. Need an Encore" is also a bad name. So is Wale. See ya.

Filed Under: Stupid fucking name / so insecure

Posted by Chris D'Elia


"Motherfucker, I'm ill!"

- Jay-Z, A Billi

Worst patient ever.

Filed under: No doctors would stand for this type of abuse.

Posted by Chris D'Elia

Thursday, March 18, 2010


"It's so hot up in the club that I ain't got no shoes on."

-Hurricane Chris, A Bay Bay

This would be the worst thermometer ever: The "HOT" reading is a pair of Nikes sitting next to a square leather club chair.

Ummm... put your fucking shoes back on, asshole.

Filed under: Worst thermometer ever / Worst guy to go out with

Posted by Chris Macho 

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


"Shake your little diggy dong dong dong de dong dong dong diggy dong dong dong."
Jim Jones, Dancing On Me
This is an example of a man who has lost his mind in the middle of a sentence.
Filed under: Lost his mind
Posted by Chris Macho


"Look... you call it 'getting married', I call it 'acting selfish'."

-Short Dawg, Pass the Dutch by Young Money

"Yeah! Bros before hos! And another thing... Your fiance is a bitch!"

This is so the wrong time to have that heart-to-heart with your buddy about how he's getting married... in a song about smoking weed.

Filed under: Doesn't know how to do things

Posted by Chris Macho

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


"Yeah, can you please motherfuckin' rise?"

-Young Jeezy, Amazin'

Shouldn't be in charge of the PA system. Why even say please?

Filed under: So fired

Posted by Chris Macho


"My dick get hard. Watch it grow."

-Mystikal, I don't Give a Fuck by Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz

Yeah, that's what it does. This is the most regular thing you could ever rap about. Honestly, this is what my cousin would say if he was on a verse. Oh yeah, my cousin is eleven.

And oh yeah... No thanks.

Filed Under: Would get fired so hard as a sex ed teacher

Posted by Chris Macho

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


"Cookie Monster of the hood because I love to eat."

-Yo Gotti, Ridiculous by DJ Drama

Hey, Yo Gotti, Cookie Monster's thing isn't that he likes to eat, it's that he likes to eat cookies. 

Filed Under: Just wrong / Do research

Posted by Chris Macho

Listen/Buy "Ridiculous"


"Your cheese is average."
Rick Ross, Speedin'
A cheese judge at a cheese party.
Filed under: Pretentious about cheese
Posted by Chris Macho

Thursday, March 4, 2010


"Houston, we have a motherfuckin' problem."

-Slim Thug, The Intro

You should probably let someone else handle the communications with NASA.

Filed Under: Not following protocol

Posted by Chris Macho

Buy the "Already Platinum" album


William "I'mma be brilliant with my millions. Loan out a billion, and get back a trillion."

Will.I.Am, Imma Be by Black Eyed Peas

Loaning out billions, huh? No, you're not. 
And even if you did, this wouldn't work.
So stop lying.

Filed under: Not gonna happen


"Lemonade my town, said, 'Miami, I want yellow carpet'; woke up in the morning fuckin' bought a yellow Aston Martin."

-Gucci Mane, Lemonade

In case you're wondering, "What the fuck is this dude talking about?", this whole song is about how Gucci Mane has yellow everything. I just wanted to point out how much of an asshole you would look like if you pulled up somewhere in a yellow Aston Martin and stepped onto rolled-out yellow carpet — the carpet you requested.

Filed under: Needs variety

Posted by Chris Macho

Listen/Buy "Lemonade"