Monday, April 26, 2010


File:Krizz Kaliko on 2008-07-01

"I ain't trying to be Bill Gates, I'm trying to be the nigga Bill Gates hates."

Krizz Kaliko, Getcha Life Right

Here's one goal which is impossible and another goal which is not that hard and wildly unambitious.

Filed under: Worst goal ever.

Posted by Chris Macho

Friday, April 23, 2010


Eminem "I was born with a dick in my brain."
-Eminem, Insane
No, you weren't. See ya.
Filed under: Literally a dickhead

Posted by Chris Macho

Thursday, April 22, 2010


A5paulwallghtvibesourcemag "My rims are 23s so they old enough to drink."

Paul Wall, Thinkin' Thowed

"Can I get a gin and tonic and a vodka/cran for my rims over there? I know what you're thinking... yes, they are old enough."
Filed under: Didn't happen

Posted by Chris Macho

Tuesday, April 20, 2010



"Beef is just a style of cow."

-Fabolous, Salute

Simply put, cows don't come in styles, because cows aren't sunglasses. Nobody is out there saying, "And over here we have the Fall collection. We have rodeo, all black, and beef."

Filed under: 100% Wrong

Posted by Chris Macho 

Monday, April 19, 2010



"I'm shittin' on niggas and peein' on the seat."

Big Boi, Shutterbug

Who takes a shit and holds the pee, THEN goes to the bathroom just to do it and miss?
Or, is the dude in the toilet, and you're shitting on him and then standing up and turning around so you can piss in and on the toilet?
Or, are you peeing on regular (non-toilet) seats?
Help! I need to know.

Filed under: What a DICK

Posted by Chris Macho

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


"Heavy. Real heavy. It feels heavy. Somebody help me. My neck hurt."

-Gucci Mane, Heavy

This isn't a line in a rap song. It's a conversation somebody has right before they get taken to the hospital.

Filed under: Needs an ambulance

Posted by Chris Macho

Thursday, April 1, 2010


"How it feel to wake up and be the shit and the urine?"

-Kanye West, Swagga Like Us by T.I.

I don't know, you tell us. I guess you'd probably get used to the smell after a while.

Filed under: Not good AT ALL / Not possible / So dumb

Posted by Chris Macho 



"We got them birds in the coffee cans."

Birdman, Imma DBoy by Lil Wayne

This is exactly what a Secret Service guy says into his lapel so that the the rest of the guys will know that the mission is on.

Filed under: In the Secret Service

Posted by Chris Macho