"The square root of 69 is 8-somethin', right?"

-Drake, What's My Name by Rhianna

Yes, Drake, that's right. The square root of 69 is, in fact, 8-something. It's 8.30662386629... Thanks for tossing that out there.

The better question is, why are we talking about math right now? Oh I get it, you just learned square roots so you're putting it on display. Here's the thing, though: you're on a song right now, so you can cut that out immediately.

Oh, and if you're doing it just for the "69" reference, well, then that's just super dorky.

Filed under: Just learned math / Huge dork / So insecure





Posted by Chris Macho 

"She got a FUPA, it don't matter I'm still scoopin' her."

- Krizz Kaliko, Pu Wah Wah by Tech N9ne

Oh really? That's disgusting, man. Now I have to wait an hour before I eat anything.

Filed under: No standards / Disgusting / Worst rhyme ever

Posted by Chris Macho

"Niggas wanna eat 'cause they ain't ate nothin', but niggas wanna leave when you say you out of mustard."

-Lil Wayne, Go DJ

Hang on... Are you saying that you know more than one person that is willing to turn down free food because you don't have mustard to serve with this food? Who are you even hanging out with? And what food are you serving that relies so heavily on the mustard accompaniment? Did these people invent mustard?

I'm honestly so confused.

Filed under: Insulted because they invented mustard






Posted by Chris Macho 

"See, I'm looking and I'm smelling like Mega Millions."

Tony Yayo, Horror Movie

Looking like a million bucks is something, but SMELLING like a million bucks? That's disgusting.

Filed under: Not something / Worst cologne ever






Posted by Chris Macho 

"My presence is a present, kiss my ass."

-Kanye West, "Monster"

You know, this is great because this is exactly what I imagine Kanye saying to his nephew at his birthday party when his nephew asks him if he brought a present for him.

Hey Kanye, you know how you have this reputation for being a total fucking dickface? Maybe it's because you say stuff like this.

In fact, it's so fucking dick to say even the first part of this sentence, but the "kiss my ass"... That's the dickface coup de grâce. Way to go.

Filed under: Worst guy at a birthday





Posted by Chris Macho