"Got diarrhea flow, now I shit on niggaz. Even when I'm constipated, I still shit on niggaz."

Young Jeezy, Trap or Die

Friend: "Yo Jeezy, Can you pass the bread?"

Jeezy: "Nah, I gots the diarrhea son."

Friend: "Oh fo real? You gonna shit on me?"

Jeezy: "Yup."

Filed under: Worst guy to go on a double date with

Posted by Nick Spears

"A nigga was a infant

when I learned I was gifted."

A-Plus, That Ain't Right by Souls of Mischief

Doubt it.

Filed under: Lying

Posted by Nick Spears

"280, 6'1", black as fuck."

- Blaq Poet, Bang Dis!

What if it actually said "black as fuck" on his doctor's chart? Man, that would be cool.

Filed under: Worst description of yourself ever






Posted by Chris Macho 

"I don't eat pork, not 'cause I'm a Muslim, I just don't really like it... but I really will fuck a bird up."

- Immortal Technique, Beef and Broccoli

Friend: "Yo Immortal, you comin by for BBQ or what?"

Immortal: "What yall havin?"

Friend: "Porkchops, ribs, corn and mashed potatoes."

Immortal: "Fuck that nigga. I'll bring my own shit to grill."

(2hrs later, Immortal finally arrives at the BBQ)

Friend: "Yo! Why yo hands bloody? Is that a dead peacock??? Where you been??"

Immortal: "Zoo. Let's eat nigga."

File under: terrible with parrots / poisons hummingbirds

Posted by Nick Spears

"What's the haps on the craps? Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em"

- Ice Cube, It Was a Good Day

I hope to God you're referring to gambling.

Filed under: Might have extremely disgusting habits and should talk to someone about them

Posted by Nick Spears

"It's too much drama, go ask ya mamas while I'm in the silk pajamas."

- AMG, Get 2getha Again by DJ Quick

Not only do I not know what the hell you're talking about - but, I also feel like you totally ran out of words that rhymed with "drama"... so you just kinda winged it. Plus, hanging around in silk pjs for someone to come back from asking their mom a question is just creepy and weird.

Filed under: Winging his rap while dressed like Hugh Hefner

Posted by Nick Spears