"Keep my dick hard and keep me smoking."

Waka Flocka Flame, Hard in Da Paint

First of all... It's nice to have goals.  Secondly... I'd hate to be your personal assistant.

Third... I have a great title for your biography: "Boners & Bongloads: The Story of Waka Flocka Flame"

Filed under: Worst guy to be stoned around

Posted by Nick Spears

"She's looking for a real good time. I said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise," and I ran away with the bottle of wine."

-LL Cool J, Going Back to Cali

Filed Under: Not a real good time

Posted by Chris Macho

"Stainless steel watches, ostrich turtlenecks, here's the deal."

Raekwon, Rich and Black

Not interested.

Filed under: Worst salesman

Posted by Nick Spears

"I gave you all of my soul and all I got left is a key chain."

Yelawolf, Love is Not Enough

I can't help but wonder if it was a rabbit's foot? Because, that would be hilarious!

Filed under: Overly sensitive about mementos / Worst trade ever

Posted by Nick Spears

"I'm here to distinguish the bears from the penguins."

-Lil Wayne, Break Up

Everyone stand back! There's a professional here! Let him do his job!

Filed under: Easiest job ever / A zoopkeeper

Posted by Chris Macho

"Why you open up ya ass and let me travel in there?"

Busta Rhymes, Ass On Your Shoulders

Hey Busta, Any chick that would respond with "OK!" is fuckin disgusting.

Filed under: Likes buttholes, Not smooth

Macho: Yeah what does he mean 'travel'? It's his dick. It's not catching a flight out of LAX...

Extra filed under: Not traveling

Posted by Nick Spears

"I just want everybody to kind of be clear of what's taking place right now. It's not an introduction, it's more like a beginning. It's like the calm before the storm.

I guess you can sorta call it the rebirth or the birth period. It's the growth..."

-Joe Budden, Stand Up Nucca

Hey man, WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?

We should have known that this was going to be a train-wreck when it started out with the declaration, "I just want everyone to kind of be clear." Kudos. You accomplished that. It really is only kind of clear what's taking place.

Honorable mention: You "guess you can sorta call it the rebirth"? This is the weakest salvo of a rebirth of all time.

Filed under: So unclear / Figure it out before you start recording / So insecure

Posted by Chris Macho

"From my naps, to the bunion on my big toe."
Method Man, Shadowboxin' by GZA

Hey Method Man, you forgot to mention: crosswords, metamucil, soup, shuffle board & bingo night.

Filed under: Kills it at nursing homes, "Bad Hip" Hop

Posted by Nick Spears

"Um yes, I am now beating off to mom sex."

Tyler the Creator, Steak Sauce

Um, what's mom sex?

Filed under: Incest?

Posted by Chris Macho

"Rip your butthole out of place."

DMX, Here Comes the Boom

That seems a bit over the top. Is there a backstory? Or just because?

Filed under: Disturbing

Posted by Nick Spears

"But, I twist that la la la la."

50 Cent, High All the Time

What do you mean "but"? Are you arguing with someone here?

The only thing that someone could say that you could respond with this sentence is, "Hey 50, I heard you don't twist that la la la la."

...But nobody would ever say that.

Filed under: Worst argument ever






Posted by Chris Macho 

"Pockets on Shrek, rockets on deck."

Kanye West, E.T. by Katy Perry

Producer: "Stop the track real quick. Yo Kanye, did you just say something about Shrek?"

Kanye: "Nope."

Producer: "Hmmmmmm? I could've sworn I heard you say Shrek? Cuz he's an ogre... not an alien, soooooo doesn't really pertain to this song."

Kanye: "Noted. I'll keep it about his pants then. Those are totally relevant."

Filed under: Kanye watches Disney not sci-fi

Posted by Nick Spears