Saturday, June 30, 2012

#584

"I brought butter for the popcorn, dip for the chips."
GZA, Alphabets
THANK YOU!
Filed under: Best guy at a potluck, Snacks
Posted by: Nick Spears

Friday, June 29, 2012

#583

"Now picture me dead, still gettin' head in the coffin, flossin'..."
Krayzie Bone, When I Die
No. Just... No. The whole thing. Not gonna picture you dead. You're not getting head in the coffin. I mean, you're DEAD ya know? And for SURE you're not flossin' in the coffin. You're fucking DEAD. You're going to just be laying there.
Filed under: NOT FLOSSIN' / Didn't happen
Posted by: Chris Macho

#582


"I'm 'Top Chef', you 'Top Ramen', I'm 'Top Shelf'."
B.O.B., Strange Clouds
Okay. You're 'Top Chef'.
Filed under: Not that good / Went into the studio after watching the Food Network
Posted by: Chris Macho

Thursday, June 28, 2012

#581


"So girls when we kiss and we cuddle, ain't no way to put it subtle... When I want the butthole."
Slick Rick, Adults Only
Pretty sure there's nothing slick about that. Nope.
Filed under: Not slick about getting the butthole
Posted by: Nick Spears

#580


"If I worked in a restaurant, I'd shit in the food and feed it to you."
Busta Rhymes, Dangerous MC's by Notorious BIG
Yelp Review: "DON'T EVER GO TO THIS RESTAURANT THERE WAS HUMAN SHIT IN MY BREAKFAST BURRITO"
Filed under: Ruined any chances of getting a waiter job.
Posted by: Chris Macho

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

#579


"I got my own stickers now, so literally I’m everywhere."
Mac Miller, Frick Park Market
So does my local deli. Literally they do. And they just make sandwiches.
Filed under: Not a big deal at all
Posted by: Nick Spears

#578


"Now imagine there's a shorty. Maybe five. Maybe four."
Lupe Fiasco, Bitch Bad
Okay, soooo... what is it that you want me to imagine?
Filed under: Figure it out before you go ordering me around.
Posted by: Chris Macho

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

#577


"I'll wax a nigga's ass like Mister Miyagi."
Lil Wayne, Forgot About Me by Scarface
This is plain gay.
Filed under: Plain gay.
Posted by: Chris Macho

#576


"Y'all soft as tater tot."
Fabolous, Start It Up by Lloyd Banks
WHOA Fab! Big time BURN!
Filed under: Hardest dude at recess
Posted by: Nick Spears

Monday, June 25, 2012

#575


"I've had sex four times this week, I'll explain..."
Drake, Marvin's Room
With this kind of honesty, I'm wondering how you had sex four times this week.
Filed under: Worst boyfriend
Posted by: Chris Macho

#574

Ross
"All I need is a kilo, a apron, show me the stove."
Rick Ross, Pandemonium
HERE'S THE DEAL: You don't ACTUALLY cook OR sell crack.
Filed under: Worst guest on Iron Chef
Posted by Nick Spears

#573


"And you motherfuckers lookin' like steak."
Lloyd Banks, Cake
Oh, ummmmm... Thanks?
Filed under: Had no plans for what he was going to rhyme 'Cake' with
Posted by: Chris Macho

Sunday, June 24, 2012

#572


"They say life's a game of chess. You can play checkers all on my jacket."
Meek Mill, Burn
How about, let's not play checkers on your jacket because what does that even mean?
Filed under: Has nothing to do with chess / Seven
Posted by Chris Macho

Saturday, June 23, 2012

#571


"Rev me up, rev me up, my little buttercup."
Heavy D, Now That We've Found Love
Who talks like this????
Filed under: Raps like Mr. Rogers, Creeps out women, Worst pillow talk
Posted by: Nick Spears

#570


"Baby you're fired, your girlfriend hired. But if you don't mind I'mma keep you on call."
Kanye West, So Appalled
I can't see why she wouldn't be down with this...
Filed under: Gonna get slapped so fucking hard
Posted by: Chris Macho

Friday, June 22, 2012

#569

Tyler
"I'm awesome, and I fuck dolphins."
Tyler the Creator, Tron Cat
Wolf 1: Yo, Where's Ty at?
Wolf 2: He's in the aquarium fuckin' a dolphin.
Wolf 1: Ty's so awesome.
Filed under: Masturbates to 'Dolphin Tale'
Posted by: Nick Spears

#568


"You niggas got no worries... Hakuna Matata."
Pusha T, Lose Your Life by The Alchemist
Were those the original Lion King lyrics orrrrr...
Filed under: Going to hell
Posted by: Chris Macho