Snacks and Shit

#522

"I don't eat pork, not 'cause I'm a Muslim, I just don't really like it... but I really will fuck a bird up."

- Immortal Technique, Beef and Broccoli

Friend: "Yo Immortal, you comin by for BBQ or what?"

Immortal: "What yall havin?"

Friend: "Porkchops, ribs, corn and mashed potatoes."

Immortal: "Fuck that nigga. I'll bring my own shit to grill."

(2hrs later, Immortal finally arrives at the BBQ)

Friend: "Yo! Why yo hands bloody? Is that a dead peacock??? Where you been??"

Immortal: "Zoo. Let's eat nigga."

File under: terrible with parrots / poisons hummingbirds

 

 

Posted by Nick Spears

#99

"Forty-five, fifty-five, sixty-five, seventy-five, gouda. Eighty-five, ninety-five, wait, what am I doing? Chalupa."
E-40, Gouda

This is not rapping. You can't just count and then say food. Another thing, you shouldn't ask yourself "What am I doing?" while the tape is still running.

#1

"No room service just snacks and shit."
- Jay-Z, Hey Papi

This is the line that started our whole obsession with rap and hip-hop lyrics.

Honestly, this sounds more like something my dad would say. "Remember, no ordering room service. It's too expensive. Plus, I brought snacks."

This blog is about rap and hip-hop lyrics that are absolutely absurd, ludicrous, nonsensical, ridiculous, basic, basically stupid, basically bad, basically basic, or preposterous. We also take some lines and examine them literally. In the words of one of our critics, we are "willfully obtuse". Call it what you want. Hopefully we don't get capped. You have to understand that we really do love rap and all of these artists that we kid about.

(We're not just saying that.)

Listen/Buy "Hey Papi"