Snacks and Shit

#277

"I'm so bad, I could suck my own motherfuckin' dick."
- Pimp C, I'm So Bad by UGK

Oh. I think you meant to say, "I'm so gross and weird, I could suck my own motherfuckin' dick, and I shouldn't be telling people that I do this."

Then, at the end of the song...

"Burt's so bad, he can suck his own dick. Chris so bad, he can suck his own dick. Bun B so bad, he can suck his own dick. Ron so bad, he can suck his own dick. Tang so bad, he can suck his own dick. Kye so bad, he can suck his own dick. Will so bad, he can suck his own dick. The rest ain't that bad... Peace, I'm outta here."

As if this is the big finish to a speech and everyone is cheering him on.

Filed under: Gross / Not a good thing / Worst speech ever

#244

"I got candy in my cup, candy in my car, candy on my wrist, candy on my car."
- Pimp C, Swishas and Dosha by UGK

"I'm not sure I mentioned this before when I said candy in my car, I've got it on my car, too."

I feel like he started this line thinking he had plenty of things to list with candy on it and after the third thing realized that was pretty much it and had to backpedal.

Filed under: Trying to pick up on kids

#25

"We eat so many shrimp I got iodine poisoning."
- Pimp C, Sippin' on Some Syrup by Three 6 Mafia

At first I thought Pimp C thought "iodine poisoning" just sounded cooler than "cholesterol issues"... But that's not true. It doesn't sound cool either.