Snacks and Shit

#469

"Ate pussy in the shower for the first time last week."

-Plies, Feel Like Fuckin

It's Christmas Eve. Plies has been invited to a friend's house because he's alone. His friend's dad asks him what he's been up to.

"You know, a little this, a little that. Ate pussy in the shower for the first time last week, so..."

"Get out of my house."

Filed under: Not our business / Worst conversation starter



Posted by Chris Macho

Listen/Buy "Feel Like Fuckin"

#420

"What you want in your stomach, a girl or a boy?"
- Plies, Headboard

In case you're wondering, this is the wrong way to discuss having a child. I can't even believe he says in your stomach — It's a baby. Not a pizza.

Filed under: Worst potential father / Not romantic



Posted by Chris Macho

Listen/Buy "Headboard"

#402

"Put that mayonnaise on your child."

- Plies, Becky

This is either the most crass way of a man explaining having an orgasm with a woman... or Plies is the worst babysitter ever.

Filed under: Worst babysitter / so goddamn crass



Posted by Chris D'Elia

Listen/Buy "Becky"

#228

"If I was on my dick, you niggas'll be glad."
-Plies, Friday

Few things. One, this sentence is so weird. Two, this sentence isn't a sentence. Three, what could this possibly mean? If anyone tries to actually explain it to me, I'm going to be kinda mad.

#169

"My hand's talkin' to me, they wanna know what’s under yo' skirt."
- Plies, Please Excuse My Hands

"What's up, Plies?"
"Hang on... Let me just finish up my meeting with them."
"Who?"
"My hands."
"See ya, Plies."

Let's stop confusing things here. You want to see under her skirt, not your hands.

Filed under: Too confusing/Worst angle for the defense team in a sexual harassment case

#111

"Let me grade you, give you a report card. Your first test is, can you get it hard?"
- Plies, Put It On Ya

"No it's okay, we found a different babysitter. Thanks anyway, Plies."

#2

"Before you take them panties off, I got a question for you... I want to know if that pussy smell like water."
- Plies, Water

Couple things. One: you didn't really phrase that as a question, did you? Two: You waited until right now to ask?