Snacks and Shit

#476

"My dick get hard. Watch it grow."

-Mystikal, I don't Give a Fuck by Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz

Yeah, that's what it does. This is the most regular thing you could ever rap about. Honestly, this is what my cousin would say if he was on a verse. Oh yeah, my cousin is eleven.

And oh yeah... No thanks.

Filed Under: Would get fired so hard as a sex ed teacher



Posted by Chris Macho

#404

"All I do is eat, shit, and think about success."
- Big Sean, Desire, Want, & Need

Filed under: WON'T BE SUCCESSFUL!

D'Elia: Yeah, if you're only eating, shitting, and thinking about success... you won't make a dollar. Unless you're talking about like the "having friends" kind of success... which still doesn't translate. Because who the fuck wants to hang out with a guy who's always just eating and shitting?

Filed under: Basically a dog



Posted by Chris Macho and Chris D'Elia

#395

"I use Crest so ain't no cavity creeps in my grill."
- Dr. Dre, Keep Their Heads Ringin'

Oh really Dr. Dre? What else do you want to tell us during a song that we're listening to that's completely mundane?

Filed under: Who Cares / So boring



Posted by Chris Macho

#335

"I put it right there. They be like, 'Luda!' I be like, 'Yeah?'"
- Ludacris, Buck In Here

Ludacris and his friends sitting around the poker table...

Ludacris: Hey you guys remember that time I put it right there?
Some Other Guy: Umm... I don't know. Why?
Ludacris: No, I'm saying then after that everyone was like 'Luda'? and then I was like, 'Yeah'?
Another Guy: Yeah, I guess I remember that.
(Long pause)
Another Guy: ...So?
Ludacris: Oh, yeah I was just saying... that was crazy, right? Heh, heh.
A Different Guy: Luda, it's still your turn. Are you folding or what?

Filed under: The worst, most boring storyteller of all time



Posted by Chris D'Elia