Snacks and Shit

#403

"I'm the kind of nigga that'll kidnap your kids, take 'em home, fuck 'em good, and send 'em back to you in bandages."
- Keith Nut, Watch Out by Fat Joe

OH.

Then you're going to have trouble keeping friends and getting people to trust you and all that stuff. Can you imagine trying to get a job ten years after making this song?

"You have most of the qualifications we are looking for but we're just going to have to go with the other guy."
"Is this because of when I said I'd fuck your kids... and stuff?"
"One hundred percent."

Also, what's up with "Fuck 'em good"? It's not like it's going to be enjoyable for the kids.

Filed under: Worst guy ever



Posted by Chris Macho

Listen/Buy "Watch Out"

#402

"Put that mayonnaise on your child."

- Plies, Becky

This is either the most crass way of a man explaining having an orgasm with a woman... or Plies is the worst babysitter ever.

Filed under: Worst babysitter / so goddamn crass



Posted by Chris D'Elia

Listen/Buy "Becky"

#387

"Got 10 bathrooms. I could shit all day."
- Lil Wayne, We Be Steady Mobbin

Here's an example of a line that starts kind of cool (I guess), but then ends up turning into an intense session of trying to acquire really bad hemorrhoids.

Houseguest: Where the fuck is Lil Wayne?
Lil Wayne (calling out from the background): "Gimme til tomorrow!"

Filed under: Would just be so bad for your asshole / worst houseguest



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#370

"Suck a nigga dick or somethin'. Suck a nigga dick or somethin'. Suck a nigga dick or somethin'. Suck a nigga dick or somethin'."
- Juicy J, Slob On My Knob by Three 6 Mafia

Frankly, I think the best thing to remember when ordering people around like this is to just try and stick to your guns and to keep your confidence up in your own plan.

If we took a poll, I think most people would choose "Or something" over the first option.

Filed under: Insecure/Bad team leader



Posted by Chris Macho   

#358

"Tell the women in your family to suck my dick."
- Sheek Louch, Mighty D-Block

No one would deliver this message... ever.

"Hey mom, you know Sheek Louch?"
"No."
"Well, call Aunt Diane here's the deal..."

CUT TO: an establishing shot of a house. We can hear a mother screaming with disgust.

Filed under: SO crass and disrespectful



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#348

"It's all just a race to see who can grab the most nuts."
- DJ Quik, Intro For Roger

And the winner is... THE GAYEST DUDE EVER!!!

Filed under: A race you should come in last at



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#340

"In about three years, holler at me Miley Cyrus."
- Mack Maine, Every Girl by Lil Wayne

Uhhh... recruiting underage chicks to fuck when they turn of age is so creepy.

Filed under: Worst babysitter



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#333

"It's a cold winter, y'all niggas better bundle up."
- Freeway, What We Do

Producer at The Weather Channel: "You're fired."



Posted by Chris Macho   

#327

"Gucci all red so he shittin’ on the infants. He shittin’ on the infants, Gucci all red man, these shoes $450."
- Gucci Mane, Never Too Much Money

Gucci Mane: "Congratulations on the baby... can I hold him?"
Everyone within earshot: "NO!"

Filed under: Worst babysitter ever / Bad at trying to change the subject



Posted by Chris Macho   



    

#306

"Let me give you swimming lessons on the penis."
- Ludacris, Money Maker

There's no such thing as giving someone swimming lessons on the penis. Sorry.

Filed under: Don't get in a pool with this man / Worst babysitter



Posted by Chris Macho