Snacks and Shit

#433

"Now we're in my house. I took the pants off the wench. The fuckin' bitch had syphilis. I cracked her in the face with a wrench."
- Necro, STD

Soooooo THIS is the most overboard thing you can do if you find out a girl has a venereal disease.

Filed under: Way overboard/obviously going to jail really soon



Posted by Chris D'Elia

Listen/Buy "S.T.D."

#393

"Shine like Rudolph. Nigga, fuck Prancer."
- Ice Cube, Doin' What It 'Pose To Do

Filed under: Probably had shitty Christmases in his youth



Posted by Chris D'Elia

#377

I live by two words, "Fuck you, pay me".
- Kanye West, Two Words

Okay, so first of all... this saying is four words long. So you're an idiot.

But assuming you just mean you live by the words "Fuck you" because those are the first two words you say after "I live by two words"... then I'm pretty sure that soon you will have almost no friends because this is a shitty way to live.

Kanye's friend: "Hey dude, let's go grab a slice."
Kanye: "Fuck you, pay me.
(Kanye's friend in silence)
Kanye: "Sorry bro, you know how I live."

Yeah... Kanye. Soon your life is going to be worse if you keep this up.

Filed under: Most disrespectful way to live / asshole



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#370

"Suck a nigga dick or somethin'. Suck a nigga dick or somethin'. Suck a nigga dick or somethin'. Suck a nigga dick or somethin'."
- Juicy J, Slob On My Knob by Three 6 Mafia

Frankly, I think the best thing to remember when ordering people around like this is to just try and stick to your guns and to keep your confidence up in your own plan.

If we took a poll, I think most people would choose "Or something" over the first option.

Filed under: Insecure/Bad team leader



Posted by Chris Macho   

#358

"Tell the women in your family to suck my dick."
- Sheek Louch, Mighty D-Block

No one would deliver this message... ever.

"Hey mom, you know Sheek Louch?"
"No."
"Well, call Aunt Diane here's the deal..."

CUT TO: an establishing shot of a house. We can hear a mother screaming with disgust.

Filed under: SO crass and disrespectful



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#354

"Fuck your cell phone, bitch. You could keep that."
- Scarface, Who Are They

It's so weird to be this mad at an object.

Filed under: Probably really mad at something else and taking it out on a phone



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#352

"Money is my morals. Other than that, I'm soulless."
- Clipse, Ego

Let's get one thing straight, "money" is not "having morals". In fact if you're trying to express how moral you are and money is the first thing you bring up, you're a moron. That's kind of the opposite thing a "moral" person would do.

Rapping these lyrics is basically like saying, "I can't stand sex. Other than that, I fuck all the time."

So when saying "other than that" you actually need to say something... well... other than what you just said.

Filed under: Redundant / Soulless from the get-go



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#341

"I better be the only man stickin it, lickin' it like an envelope, mailin it, sealin' it. Read it."
- Lil Wayne, Pussy Money Weed

Okay, I get the "stickin' it" and "lickin' it" analogy. But mailing a pussy and having it go through the US Postal Service and then having someone read it? I mean, I don't even think that's sexual anymore.

Filed under: Turning a girl on and then just being weird to her



Posted by Chris D'Elia   

#327

"Gucci all red so he shittin’ on the infants. He shittin’ on the infants, Gucci all red man, these shoes $450."
- Gucci Mane, Never Too Much Money

Gucci Mane: "Congratulations on the baby... can I hold him?"
Everyone within earshot: "NO!"

Filed under: Worst babysitter ever / Bad at trying to change the subject



Posted by Chris Macho   



    

#321

"Ain't my birthday but I got my name on that cake."
- Lil Wayne, Stuntin' Like My Daddy

"I picked up that cake for Mark's birthday."
"Great, let's see it... Oh, it says 'Happy Birthday Weezy' on it."
"Yeah, well... oops."
"You're the most self-centered person alive."

Filed under: Attention whore



Posted by Chris Macho